Do you talk to yourself? Do you hear your own thoughts, advice and questions to yourself?
I hope so! I don’t understand how talking to yourself became a stigma for being crazy – because it seems so useful and so normal.. and now, with the invention of wireless earbuds, we really can’t tell who’s on the phone and who is talking to themselves!
But really- if you do talk to yourself, are your inner dialogues repetitive?
Do you hear yourself saying the same things to yourself (or out loud) over and over again? Do you notice any catchphrases?What do you say to yourself when you’re happy and grateful? What do you say to yourself when something unfortunate happens?
I think what we repetitively tell ourselves are our Mantras.
My friend Pam told me about a Mantra that she uses and I love it!
Skinny Skinny coco bop – I am Happy Happy Debt Free
She told me that she repeats this to herself at random times throughout the day, or even if she gets up in the middle of the night. It’s so good! It suits her perfectly and it’s silly, validating, aspirational and motivational all at the same time.
I was so amazed when she told me she has this fun little mantra, because over the past few years, I’ve been purposely developing mantras for myself, but I haven’t publicly announced them to anyone, so I was surprised when she just brought hers up out of the blue with no prompting. She just offered it, like “this is what I say to myself.” and by realizing she had a fun mantra to say to herself throughout the day, just like I do, it made me love her even more!
I think what you habitually say to yourself is a clue to what you habitually think. So, for example, if you notice yourself saying “that was dumb!” about yourself, or “butterfingers” when you drop something, or if you confess “I’m bad with names” when you forget someone’s name, maybe you’re subconsciously re-affirming to yourself that you think you are dumb or clumsy or forgetful.
Have you read the Instragram Quote or Pinterest Pin that suggests if you wouldn’t talk to a friend that way, why would you talk to yourself that way? It makes a good point.. Why would you?
I have decided to be very mindful and selective about what I say to myself, so I’ve collected a few mantras that I’ve created as habits- so that I can insert these thoughts into my awareness habitually.
First of all- maybe I’m using this word incorrectly- what is a mantra? The primary definition of Mantra comes from buddhism or hinduism and it’s a sound that aids in concentration during meditation – like “ohm” That’s interesting to know.. But not really what I’m talking about…
The second definition is simply a statement repeated frequently- so yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing so the word Mantra fits perfectly.
And I’m taking it one step further because not only do I repeat these statements frequently, I’m intentionally choosing these statements because they are based on thoughts I’m choosing to believe.
Mantras are basically my short-cut thoughts. They’re at the ready for any relevant circumstance. I pull them up whenever the situation dictates and they keep me on the path I want to be on.These are my pre-programed, pre-approved “go-to” thoughts that (now) naturally come up when things happen. It’s like a call and response. Like, if I say Knock Knock, you might say Who’s There.. Or, if you hear a knocking sound, you might say “housekeeping”
So if a situation pops up, like, for example, if I break a dish, I have my go-to mantra ready for that kind of event so that I don’t accidentally let my thinking wander down an unintentional path. Stay tuned, I’ll tell you my mantra for a dish breaking circumstance in a minute.
How I come up with My Mantras
First, let’s talk about how I come up with my mantras? So far, I’ve noticed 4 main ways.
The next way I come up with my mantras is using common expressions that align with my intentions. I once taught a college course where one of our in-class assignments was to dissect axioms or common advice in the form of expressions – like “a rising tide lifts all boats and a rolling stone gathers no moss.” It was so interesting to notice which expressions no one had even heard of or which expressions people said slightly differently and how we all may understand what an expression means without understanding the original literal meaning of the expression.
All of this to say, some expressions have stood the test of time and, today, continue to serve me well as my mantras.
The 3rd way I come up with my mantras is Song Lyrics – I’ve never been good at understanding lyrics of songs or remembering the words of even the most popular songs- but, with the invention of the internet, I’m able to instantly look up any song lyrics. Sometimes when I’m driving and listening to music, I’ll hear a song and start to pay attention to the lyrics and be blown away with the meaning of what I just thought was a cool song. So, I’ve chosen a few mantras based on song lyrics and I hope there are many more to come- because this is probably the most fun way I come up with my mantras.
Another way I thought of to come up with my mantras is based on abbreviated thoughts from models. I described self-coaching and doing Thought Downloads and Models in previous posts- so if you don’t know what I’m talking about, please go back and read.
The main point here is that when I notice a thought that will get me the results I want, I’ll shorten it into an easy to remember phrase to repeat to myself over and over. I know some people who make a note on their phone with a list of all the intentional thoughts they want to think and then they read that list out loud to themselves every day. I think that’s really smart too – I just haven’t implemented that for myself yet.
Currently, I just have 1 mantra based on a model and I use it when needed- but maybe, as I add more, I’ll make a list on my phone too.
How to Use a Mantra
I use my mantras whenever appropriate! Usually silently in my head, sometimes out loud, often as I write my morning pages, and also maybe in the form of advice or commiseration in conversation with someone I love. I guess I don’t have any rules or guidelines about how to use these mantras. My advice to you, if you want to try this for yourself, is to just make sure they’re intentional and aligned with the thoughts you want to think.
If you notice yourself thinking some expressions or song lyrics that don’t serve you.. Replace them with ones that do!
My Favorite Mantras
So, without any more delay.. Here are a few my favorite Mantras
Easy Come, Easy Go – this is the one I was alluding to that I use when I break a dish.
It’s one of those common expressions that most people have heard of and probably use at times. I love to repeat it to myself because it immediately helps me to release any resistance to the loss and helps me put things in perspective. I’ve used this when I’ve lost jewelry and it helped me not to stress or feel sorry about the loss- and then I’ve found the jewelry! I’m not saying that using the mantra brought the jewelry back- but I am saying I wasn’t mourning and angry and frustrated until I found it again
This specifically happened with a one half of a pair of flamingo earrings that I got with a free store credit, so it literally was easy come, easy go. For months I kept the other earring because I liked them and I still held out hope that it’s mate would find its way back.
And when I originally wrote this episode, I was using this separated pair of earrings as an example of something that really was easy come, easy go without any loss or resistance. But, now I can’t use the example anymore, because one day, I was looking for a different pair of earrings and found the lost flamingo! Had it been there the whole time? I have no idea.. But now they’re back together. You could say.. Birds of a feather flock together.. That’s another expression! But not one of my mantras.
Reminding myself that things do come to me easily, makes it easier to release them without any disappointment. This is one that I will sometimes use with other people, like my husband, if something breaks that we either have to throw away or replace, I just say easy come, easy go. Maybe it’s annoying for him to hear me say it, but it definitely reminds me that material things are just that, and not very important, and we can pretty much replace anything. And even if we can’t replace something.. That’s ok too.
The next mantra to share with you is: Life is the story I tell myself – I LOVE this one. It reminds me that I get to decide most of the major plot lines that happen in my life. So if I notice myself wishing something wasn’t the way it is or if I hear myself saying I “have” to do something, I remember, I’m the director of this movie I’m living in right now. I get to decide the scenes, wardrobe, dialogue (at least my own), pretty much everything! So, if something isn’t to my liking, why don’t I just change it?
Really! If there’s something going on in your life right now that isn’t to your liking.. What’s keeping you tied to it? What are you doing that you “have” to do, that you don’t want to do- why?
Another way to think about “Life is the story I tell myself” is more from the “tell” angle of this mantra. That means what I tell myself about what’s happening.
If a friend is short with me, I can tell myself ‘She must be mad at me.” or, I can tell myself “she must be dealing with something.” If I believe the first story, that she’s mad at me, I might feel guilty, or hurt, or slighted. If I believe the story that she’s going through something, I might feel compassionate or sympathetic.
I would much rather approach my friends from a feeling of compassion and sympathy rather than guilt or hurt. If I’m making up a reason for her behavior, I might as well make up a story that gives me the feeling I want.
Because, guess what? Life is the story you tell yourself, and if you don’t like it.. Tell yourself a different story.. One that you do like!
I have a whole episode planned for you about how I’m intentionally creating the story I’m telling myself every day – so stay tuned, that’s coming up in about a month. And it is so good!
The next one of my favorite mantras is: I always have plenty of energy, time and money. I explained this one pretty fully in episode 8 and I still love it and still stand by it.
This is an example of a mantra, that is a shortened form of the thought “There’s no problem that can’t be solved by energy, money and time, and I have plenty of all of them.” So, whenever I catch myself thinking “ooh.. That’s expensive- I think I have plenty of money.” Or if I think “I should do that, but it will take so much effort” I think “I have plenty of energy.”
You get the idea – definitely go back and re-read that post, so you know what I’m talking about!
Another favorite mantra is:“That’s for Me!” I say this whenever I get what I call “a wink from the Universe.” When ever I see a license plate that resembles my name, like BX 123, I interpret that as a message that I’m on the right track and I know that license plate sighting is for me. Whenever I see the time on my phone or my watch as repeating numbers, like 10:10 am or 3:33 pm, the fact that I happen to look at the clock or the phone in that exact moment is like a wink from the universe, encouraging me and cheering me on. And when I see that wink, I think “that’s for me!” and it reminds me that I’m on the right track and things are always working out for me. And they are!
The next mantra to share with you is: Happy, Thank You, More please. This is the perfect mantra to talk about next because this is the one I use when something does work out for me. When something great happens. I learned this one from Jess Lively- and at first, I don’t think I understood it.
But as I took her course Flow with Intention Online and as I paid attention to what gets me into alignment and what makes me feel abundant, I realized how perfect this mantra is. Happy means I’m pleased with something or I like something.. Or it delights me. Thank you is all about gratitude and showing appreciation and acknowledging what I’ve been given. And More Please is being open to receiving more, with gratitude. It’s being open without any resistance to what’s available and what is possible.
I most often use this one when I’m writing in the morning. I’ll recall something amazing that’s happening in my life, or I’ll have a great writing session and realize a great new realization for me that I didn’t know before, and I’ll follow it up with the phrase “happy, thank you, more please” – it’s the way I’m reminding myself and training myself to recognize what’s good for me, to be grateful and to be open to even more of it.
Anything I want, I got it. This mantra is adapted from the lyrics of a song. Specifically the Bonnie Raitt cover of Roy Orbison’s You Got It. Bonnie Raitt’s cover was part of the soundtrack to the 1995 movie Boys on the Side which I loved so much.And somehow, that song made it back into my awareness pretty heavily over the past few years.
In fact, a few years ago, I created a manifesting playlist for myself with so many songs that raise my vibration and put me in an open, abundant mindset and Bonnie Raitt’s You Got It is the pièce de résistance of the playlist, so to speak. It’s a love song telling someone else they can have anything they want, but I have adapted the chorus for myself to mean Anything I want, I got it.
I frequently use this mantra when I’m writing or thinking about something I want to do or manifest or create for myself. I remind myself that I can have anything I want.. Why not? And by reminding myself with this mantra, the mind it me goes to work believing it and making it come true.
I do have a few more mantras that pop up from time to time, but these 6 are my Go Tos. I’ve been using them for years and my brain reaches for them naturally and knows what to do with them.
These Mantras remind me of the intentional thoughts and beliefs I have chosen for myself. They remind me to stay open and grateful. They remind me to look for possibilities and think of the best case scenario.
Do you have any Mantras?
And now I’m so curious to hear if you have any mantras that you repeat to yourself? And if so, how did they come about? Where did they come from? And how do you use them?
BTW.. I think it’s so funny that as I was writing this post my grammar checker autocorrected the plural “mantras” to singular “mantra.” Doesn’t my grammar checker realize a person can have more than one mantra!?
So Mantras (plural) is what I wanted to talk to you about today! I hope you enjoyed reading about how I come up with them and how and why I use them.And now I want to hear your thoughts. What reactions do you have when you think of choosing and repeating mantras to yourself?
I also have a few notebooks with various mantras already created, for example:
There is a prompted workbook called Love your Life (which is also based on a podcast episode too).
There are also notebooks that say:
Happy, Thank You, More Please.
Whenever possible, be kind – and it’s always possible.
Go get it, Wild Child!
Plus, there’s one called “I am Magnetic” which is a wonderful mantra to frequently remind you how attractive you are!
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If you have an idea for a mantra that you would love to see on a notebook, let me know in the comments below.