Do you Love your Life?
Most of it? Some of it? None of it? Maybe you love all of it!
I love my life! And when I thought about it, I thought, what makes me love my life, and if I didn’t, what would I do?
If you are not completely in LOVE with your life, I have 4 suggestions for you to think about…
This can be about your entire life – every single aspect. Or, if there’s just one area of your life that you’re not super crazy about, one of these suggestions might be exactly what you need.
4 suggestions for how to love your life
First, consider, why you might not currently love your life. Then, I’ll give you some ways to explore your options. Also, I’ll give you some possible changes you can make to your current living situations you’re in and finally, I’ll give you examples of possible changes you could make to your own thoughts. You probably knew that one was coming.
Why don’t you love your life right now?
One reason I can imagine why someone wouldn’t love their life right now (maybe you, maybe someone you know) is because maybe, things aren’t the way they were before.
“Hi 2020!?” We’re probably all in a situation, right now, in some area or facet of our life where things are not the way that they were before. And maybe, noticing that is causing you not to love your life as much.
Another reason why you or someone may not love life is because maybe things aren’t the way you thought they would be. Either of these examples can be about any topic: your job, your home, your home life, your household, or your finances.
It can be about your relationship(s) or lack of relationship. The reason you don’t love your life could be about your weight, your health, your progress on a goal.
It could be about a business you’re trying to start or have already started. It could be about any of these examples. Maybe, things aren’t the way they were before or maybe things aren’t the way you thought they would be.
This is an area for you to explore, to look at and figure out why you don’t love your life right now. Is it because of one of the reasons listed above? Or another reason?
Explore what could change
Once you know the reason why – the specific area of your life and the specific thought about that area of your life, you have awareness. Now you can explore what you can change!
You can change the situation. You could change your job, your home, the amount of money you have or make, your relationship or relationship status, the amount you weigh, your habits, or you could change your results.
Notice that all of those examples that I just gave are completely neutral.
Those are all just situations. Some people probably have very positive thoughts about those situations, and probably love those areas of their lives. Other people may not have such positive thoughts about those things, so those are the people who might want to learn about how to love their life in that area.
Change your Thoughts
This is my work. This is what I’m promoting on this website and in my coaching practice. You can change your thoughts about the situation.You don’t have to change your job – you could change your thoughts about your job and love it. This is how you could love your life.
But, I’m not saying that the only thing to do is change your thoughts.
Remember, I started out by suggesting that you could change your situation. And so, I’m also suggesting you could change both. You could both the situation and your thoughts about the situation – either at the same time, or choose one to change first and then the second one after.
This is so exciting because it puts you in complete control. It means you’re not the victim of a circumstance. You’re not powerless about how your life goes and how you feel about your life.
Change a Situation
Let’s start with an example of if you would like to change the situation. The first piece of advice I have for you, once you’ve noticed the situation you want to change, is to make a plan.
What specifically do you want to change? And do get specific! Write it all out so you can see it in front of you in black and white.
Once you see what you want to change and you’ve gotten specific and you have a plan (maybe a loose plan or a rough estimate), then notice, what would stand in the way.
Thinking of an obstacle might seem a little counter productive. But actually, it’s very proactive. If you can think of what your obstacles are, then you can also think of what resources you would need.
If you’re trying to make a change in your job and one of your obstacles is not knowing where you’d like to work,the resource is your research.
You could ask friends and family, you could research different employers and industries on websites. You could find out qualifications are required for different jobs. You could find rough estimates for how much those jobs pay or what the working environment is like.
Get Started on Your Plan
This is the best part. This is the way that you will love your life. Once you start working towards your plan, you’re giving yourself information and learning. Your brain will love to learn and get additional information.
The other thing you’ll get by getting started on your plan is leverage. You’ll be able to notice your own progress and momentum to use as evidence that you’re changing your life. Then you can start loving that area of your life. You’ve put yourself in control.You’re not a victim to the circumstance. You’re making change and taking action to get what you want.
Change your Thoughts
The first piece of advice I always give when people are thinking about changing their thoughts is to get awareness around what you’re thinking.
I recommend writing down your thoughts, either in journaling or in a thought download. Get out a blank piece of paper and write everything down – good or bad, making sense or not, random sentences or well-thought out examples. Just get it all out in front of you.
Then, when you see all those thoughts, sentences and phrases, then you’re able to separate what’s a fact and what’s an optional thought.
This can be very surprising. You might be in the habit of thinking a specific thought so frequently that it’s actually a strongly held belief. You might not even realize that thinking that thought is optional.
You might not realize that the thought you’re believing isn’t necessary. You could think something else if you wanted to.
That’s the benefit of seeing all your thoughts in front of you – you’re able to question everything!
Is that true? Is that helpful? Is that causing me to love my life or causing me to hate my life.
Once you can see the difference, you can decide what you’d rather think instead.
How to Decide What to Think
One strategy that I talked about in Practical Tips for Transformation is a Belief Scale. If you know that you would rather think a different thought than what you’re thinking about right now, you can do a daily exercise where you notice what you’re believing right now, and then you notice what you could believe instead.
Isn’t that interesting? All of your thoughts and beliefs are still coming from your brain. When you see them next to each other, you can notice that you have the option to believe a completely new thought instead.
Another technique that I love to do is imagining either a fictional character who already has what I want to have or who already does what I want to do – she could be in a movie or show or book. Or, I’ll just imagine my future self. She may still be considered a fictional character, even though it’s just me in the future.
So, I think about this person who already has the life I want. I think about “what would she think? What would she be thinking about this right now?”
I notice what my imagination comes up with and I try that on for myself.
She would think this – can I think this?
She would think that – can I think that?
Maybe you can!
Start Intentionally Thinking New Thoughts
Once you’ve done one of those exercises, then you practice intentionally thinking your new thoughts.
Just because you decide one morning that “these are my new thoughts” doesn’t mean you’re going to think them forever from now on.
Maybe you’re in the habit of thinking the old thoughts. Remember, our brains don’t want to change anything because change represents effort.
Notice if you have any resistance to thinking the new thoughts or if you notice yourself slipping into old thinking habits.
That’s fine and normal. It means you’re human. Just keep on practicing intentionally thinking those new thoughts that you’ve chosen to think instead.
The third option to offer you for how to love your life is to do both at the same time. You could both change your situation at the same time that you change your thoughts. Those can both help each other. They can create evidence for each other. Basically you’re approaching it from all angles.
You can make a plan to change your current situation..while you also think your new intentional thoughts on purpose!
Now that I’ve explained how this all works, I have some real life examples of how this might work so you can try this on for yourself.
Unhappy in a Relationship
Think about someone who was so unhappy in her relationship. I have a client who came to me because she was unhappy in her relationship. She felt like she was only ever trying to please her partner and it wasn’t making her feel good. It made her feel powerless. She was basically trying to control the emotions of her partner. In our coaching, she decided not to change the relationship (the situation), instead, she decided she would change her thoughts. We worked on noticing why she thought she needed to please her partner. Why was she “in charge” of her partner’s feelings.
She practiced other thoughts. She looked for evidence from other areas of her life where she didn’t feel like she needed to control others’ emotions. She applied those thinking patterns and beliefs to her relationship. She was able to stay in the same relationship and just change her thoughts to love her relationship even more.
Unhappy while Not in a Relationship
Another example is someone else was so unhappy not being in a relationship. She decided to change the situation and keep the thoughts about not being in a relationship. She made a plan about how to get herself into a relationship. She took steps towards that plan. She found someone to be in a relationship with. She loves her life so much more now. In her case, she changed her situation from single to dating.
Feeling Scarce Instead of Abundant
Another example is me. I described in a previous post how I believe I always have plenty of time, plenty of money and plenty of energy. But, a while back, I noticed that I felt lack instead of abundant. I was struggling with those scarcity thoughts. So, I changed my thoughts about what I had.
I didn’t change my situation. I changed my thoughts about how my life was going. I didn’t change anything outside of my brain. I trained my brain intentionally to find proof that my life was abundant.
My thoughts changed and I felt so abundant and I loved my life even more.
A Final Example
Imagine someone who was so unhappy at work. She decided to do both- she changed the situation and her thoughts about the situation. She was so unhappy at work and it was affecting all other areas of her life, her weight, her relationship and her personal time. She changed jobs but she also decided to change her thoughts about herself as an employee and her previous job. She didn’t want to carry all that baggage with her into the future. She also changed her thoughts about the new job that she started as an escape from the old job. She wanted to be intentional about how she felt about being an employee and working for an employer.
She is loving her life so much better now!
Think about your life -Do you love it?
If so, that’s great! ..and, do you want to love it even more? Maybe you do! All of these strategies could work for you.
If you answered “No,” then, do you want to change your thoughts?
Or, do you want to change the situation you’re currently in?
Or do you want to do both? All of those options are available to you.
Let me check, do you have any resistance to any of this?
Are you thinking these strategies would apply to someone else, but not to you? Notice what your brain is telling you about why this wouldn’t be possible for you. Then you can decide what to do with those resistant thoughts.
Questions about how to Love your Life
I’ve given you 4 suggestions about how you can love your life.
What are you willing to try? What did I remind you of that you had forgotten about? What idea will you pass on (and why are you passing?)
Share your comments below!
Do you Want Help?
If you want help with any of this -with making a plan to change something about your life (your job, your business, your weight, your home)
Or if you want help choosing intentional thoughts and practicing them..I’ve got YOU! This is my SPECIALTY! Schedule some time for us to figure out how you can make a change to your situation, your thoughts, or both!
Get the Companion Workbook
Want to get a 1-page summary of the 4 suggestions for you to try out for yourself.? It’s included in the companion workbook, along with many of the exercises and worksheets that go along with each of the other posts on this site – so no matter when you joined me, and no matter what you’re currently working on, if you download the companion workbook you should be able to follow along with most of the worksheets and exercises that I mention. Go get that pdf right now.
So many good ideas! I will work on changing my thoughts. Thanks for the god podcasts. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for listening and thanks for the encouragement!