Recently I attended a life coaching conference and I came away with so many great reminders and realizations and so much more awareness. I wanted to collect all of these reminders and information for myself, and I thought it would be great to share with you what I was reminded of and what I realized and what I’ve decided as a result of attending that weekend. 

The Path to the Present

Just to back up and let you know the path to the present (how I got here),  In 2016, I started listening to the podcast created by the founder of The Life Coach School, Brooke Castillo. 

When I started listening to that podcast in 2016, I loved everything that I heard. I started implementing what I was learning right away and I saw so many positive changes in my mind and in my attitude and in my life, and I shared it with everyone.

In 2018, I decided I wanted to go through the certification program. I hadn’t fully decided I wanted to be a coach, but I knew that I wanted to get the certification and I wanted to be a part of the training and get the curriculum into my brain. 

I started that program in 2019 and I got my life coach certification. And in 2020, I started my coaching practice. Here we are at the end of 2022. Almost 3 years later. 

My mentor, Brooke Castillo, the founder of the school, the creator of that podcast that changed everything for me, sent out an email to her list letting us know she was doing this coach conference event in Arizona, called Life Coach Live.

I signed up and then went about my business and then the dates arrived in November and it was time for the conference!

Setting the Scene

Here we are. It’s high energy. There’s a DJ. It’s a huge venue. There are people all over. We’re standing in lines and saving seats and looking for people we know.  We’ve got our name badges and lanyards. There’s some swag. iI’s just a lot of people and a lot of stuff happening and it’s a huge conference room and all the chairs are very close together. 

There are big screens because it’s such a big room that not everyone can see the stage. There are lights and cameras and there is a vibe and an energy of excitement and anticipation in the room.

Here’s what happened in my mind at first. I saw that there were all these people and all these different energies and attitudes and bodies and assumptions and noises and lights. 

I thought, that first morning. “Oh this isn’t for me. I don’t like to be in big crowds. I don’t like being in the energy of so many other people. I am a one-on-one person. I’m an on-my-own time person.” 

That’s why I love online options! I love the whole idea of pause and rewind when I want to. I like taking time to stop and process. I like to focus and not be distracted by anyone else.  I love all of that. So when I thought “oh here I am, live, in a room, with other people. This isn’t my scene.” I got a little nervous that maybe I wasn’t going to get what I wanted (spoiler alert: I was wrong about that). 

I have been to some events like this before so I did have an idea of what to expect. I knew there would be a lot of information and presentations and speakers and I decided I wanted to have a notebook that would specifically just be for that weekend. 

I like doing that. I like having different notebooks for specific exercises or special events. I like having different notebooks for different things. 

So, I scrolled through my online notebook shop and I thought about what notebook would reflect my intention and reflect what I wanted to take from the conference, while also representing the people and culture and content. I found a few.

Blow Your Own Mind

The notebook I ended up using is called Blow Your Own Mind. It’s a common expression in our coaching community. It’s like a goal. It’s an affirmation. It’s an encouragement. It’s something that we say “I’m gonna blow my own mind.” You’re gonna blow your own mind. 

You can blow your own mind. 

This phrase is exciting and it’s goal worthy and it’s something to motivate you. 

This notebook turned out to be the perfect notebook for me during the conference because I really do feel like my mind was blown. Maybe some thoughts that were hanging around in my mind that weren’t really serving me were kind of like blown out, like a leaf blower might blow things away. Some other things were kind of leveled up and blown around and repositioned. I really did blow my own mind.

Reminders and Realizations

As the conference got started, I decided I would be recording a podcast episode/writing a post about what I heard and learned. I knew I wanted to have a list of realizations and reminders to review for myself and to share with you. Every time I thought, “Oh, that’s really good” or I realized “I want to come back to that” I listed it in my notebook. 

Today’s post is just sharing with you some of the realizations and reminders that I got from the coach conference weekend. 

Going Back to Basics

The first thing that was a great reminder, right up front, was “going back to the basics.” 

The audience was definitely diverse. There were some longtime fans and listeners of Brooke’s work. There were some certified coaches, like me, who have been through her process and training and use it with our own clients. There were people who were brought by a friend or a sister. My sister, who is not a coach, came with me. There were people relatively new to this work. So there was a whole mix in the audience.

When Brooke came out and started her presentation, she led everyone right back to the basics starting at step one and doing an explanation of the most foundational concepts. 

I sat there thinking, this is so good for me to hear.

It felt like a fresh start with fresh ears. I could even imagine that I was hearing it for the first time.

There are so many things in our life that we just take for granted or that are just on autopilot. 

How often do we go back and look at it with fresh eyes and consider it from where we are right now in our life, as if this is the first time we’re hearing it?

Decision to Periodically Start Again

Going back to the basics is such a good use of my time. I realized I don’t schedule for it and I don’t intentionally take myself back to the basics. So, that was something that I decided to do. I am going to intentionally schedule time for myself to go back to the basics and take myself back through the beginning.

One of the ways I plan to do this is schedule some “getting to know me” prompts in my Journaling Facebook group, and in my weekly journaling check in emails.

If getting back to the basics and proactively, intentionally getting to know yourself where you are now speaks to you, how could you implement this decision for yourself?

Masterful Coaching

The format of the event was that Brooke would teach. She would give a little workshop or presentation and then she would invite people to be coached on whatever we just learned or she would give us some journal prompts (I call them that, they were actually questions in the workbook). 

At different intervals, we were invited to all be quiet and there was some light music playing and everyone would just have their heads down in their workbooks going through the questions. Then, we would pop our heads back up and some people would volunteer for coaching or share their insights.

During these intervals, I got the opportunity to see Brooke coach and be in the room, in the energy, while it was happening.

I realized, sitting and being there was so amazing for me. Even with all the little details I had been nervous about earlier. I had been so wrong that this wasn’t for me. Being there was exactly for me.

Coaching works. So well. 

When I got to see her coaching and be in the room and hear the audience’s reaction and gasp and feel the energy of, not just myself, but the entire collective, I realized, “Oh, this is really helpful. This is really good.” 

I loved seeing, with my own eyes, and hearing with my own ears, in the same space, her masterful coaching. It reminded me so much that coaching works. So well. 

It demonstrated for me how to be laser focused on what the client wants or needs in that moment with zero agenda. It showed me how to coach without thinking “I know better. I have some advice for this person. I know what to tell this person.” Because really, the power of coaching is to show someone what they’re thinking so they can decide what to do with it. 

We still, often, don’t know what we’re thinking. We are so close to it and we can’t see it. So, it was such a great reminder for me to get to see and be in the presence of that masterful coaching that I now can remind myself of and emulate as I coach my own clients. 

Possibility Drops

Here’s something that was new for me. It was a phrase that I haven’t heard before or maybe I haven’t paid attention to before. I didn’t exactly know what it meant. 

In fact, I thought “use terminology I get. In a way that is familiar to me!”

But then I thought: “okay, this is something new, it’s going to become familiar to me. I’m going to get to know this. I’m going to understand it.”

The phrase was a possibility drop. 

The example to demonstrate what that meant was that Brooke was talking to a friend who was about to go golfing. She gave this little possibility drop. She said “hey, you can shoot an 82 today.” I don’t know what that means. I’m not a golfer. Apparently it means “Hey, you could play very well or better than you usually do today.”

She just dropped that possibility out there for her friend to consider, to agree or disagree with, maybe to feel encouraged by or challenged by. There you go. You could do this! 

Life Changing Suggestion 

I realized and remembered that I’ve been the recipient of possibility drops. One major example that has been so important and so wonderful in my life was back in my 20s when my friend, who is also a realtor, told me I could buy a rental property. A little possibility dropped right there, with belief and encouragement (and no resistance). 

“You know what? Here’s something you could do: buy a rental property.”

I thought, “oh, yeah, I could.” So I did. 

I went and I bought a rental property with that friend as my realtor. (That’s a great way to find your own clients.) She sold me a house and I’ve owned it now for over 20 years now as a rental. 

Then, another possibility drop happened. About 10 years after I bought that house, my husband told me, “you could just pay off that house. Just pay the mortgage off.” 

He also said it as “no big deal,” but still with belief that I could. That it was a possibility.

That one wasn’t as immediate. When I got that possibility drop, my immediate reaction was “What? No, I couldn’t just pay off a mortgage. But, I could, and I did.” 

Now that rental property is 100% income producing.

So these little possibility drops (from other people) that were just offered to me so freely, they really did change the course of my life. Considering and following those possibility drops in the past created so much more possibility for me now in the present.

I am so grateful to have been offered those possibility drops. 

Just a side note here – these examples are all getting possibility drops from other people. We can give possibility drops to ourselves too! 

What possibility drop do you want to offer to yourself?

Feeling Stuck

The next realization that I had as we were going through the weekend, and as people were getting coached, one common thing that many people would say as they were introducing their coaching topic was the phrase: “that’s where I get stuck.” 

We would hear that over and over again, in different iterations or different descriptions like 

“here’s what I get stuck on.” 

“Well, that’s what I struggle with.” 

Or, “Yes, I know what I want, and then I get stuck.” 

Brooke had already described this at the very first part of her presentation. She gave us a visual with a memorable name. She called it the Miserable Maybe. It’s when people have a dream of something that they want or desire. 

The Dip is the Miserable Maybe

The visual looks like a linear path. You know what you want, and then you get what you want. That’s the linear path. 

But it’s not linear, because in the middle of that path, there’s a big dip, a U shaped dip, right in between the desire and getting what you want. That dip with all the people who fall into that dip is called the miserable maybe, and that is “getting stuck.” 

As I kept on hearing all these people saying, “oh, that’s where I get stuck, or “that’s what I struggle with,” It reminded me that “we have an app for that.” 

Or you can say: there’s a recipe for that. Or there’s a process for that and we already do know how to get unstuck. 

How to Get Unstuck

In fact, I have a series of podcast episodes from last season to describe how to get unstuck.

If you think you’re stuck, what do you do? What’s the process? What’s the recipe? What’s the template? What’s the app? 

Here it is: you get awareness around your thinking. Then, you check your current thoughts against what you want. Then, you release the resistance that’s holding you back.

Those resistant thoughts, that you just found, that you checked, you release those resistant thoughts, and then you move ahead. So simple, right? 

If you are feeling stuck hearing this process and you want to feel clear about it and you need help with this, let me know. I am a resistance coach and I can help you.

I loved hearing the “feeling stuck” statements over and over again and then realizing: we have the answer to that if you ever find yourself thinking the thought, “’I’m stuck”. 

Easy! 

There’s a template, there’s an app, I don’t know if there’s an app for it. But if anyone is an app developer, that would be a great one to create because it seems like many people need it. 

It’s the same process every single time. You get awareness around your thinking, you notice: “what am I thinking that makes me feel stuck”, and then you check what you’re thinking against the results that you want. 

Does this thought help me get that? No? Okay. 

Release that resistance! 

Visualizing my Future

The next thing I love to be reminded of, is the practice of visualizing my future so much so that I know what it feels like. This is such a good intentional practice. 

Why don’t I do it more often? I don’t know. 

But now I’m going to start. 

I am going to remind myself to frequently and intentionally visualize the future so much so that I know what it feels like and I can live from the place when it’s already done. 

Being Surprised by the “Before”

I have a personal example of this. A couple of years ago, my husband and I decided that we were going to remodel our primary bathroom. It was a long time coming. That old bathroom was bad news. We knew from the day that we bought that house that it needed to be remodeled, and we waited 11 or 12 years before we actually did it. 

Luckily my husband and I are very much design aligned. We have the same taste, the same aesthetic. We value design the same way. 

We both have similar ideas as far as how much we want to spend and how much things are worth. So yeah, we’re very lucky in that way. 

In the year leading up to the remodel, coming up with the design of the new bathroom was pretty easy, especially because we had been thinking about it for so many years. 

I knew what I wanted and I could visualize it so clearly, especially once we picked out the tile and the countertop and knew what fixtures we would have. I could just visualize it so, so, so, clearly and I thought about it all the time. 

I remember, one morning, waking up and walking into the bathroom and being surprised that it was still the “before.” I had been thinking about the “After” or the future so much, I was shocked when I walked into the old, ugly bathroom, because I was living in that future that I was visualizing. 

Transformation to What Was Envisioned

Then, it did go through its transformation, from before to after, and it became the remodeled version! And it was exactly what we visualized, even better, of course. We had created the future we had envisioned. 

I want to do that more often. There are so many things that I want for myself. 

How often do I actually visualize and live from that future place? 

That was such a great reminder 

I invite you to do the same if you’re not currently visualizing your future. 

Lean Into the Future

This next reminder goes along with the last one.

Once you can visualize your future, you can step into it.  You can imagine it. You can taste it, feel it, see it, smell it, all of those things. 

The next reminder that I got from the coach conference was to lean into the future more often. 

I love thinking about my future self. Now, I want to intentionally check on her and check in with her more often.

Currently, I set things up for her – but most often they are little, routine things.  Every night, I set up my coffee for my morning future self. I want her to wake up to the smell of coffee every morning.

I do that at night even if I’m tired. Even if I just wanted to go to bed, I take that extra couple minutes and go do that favor for my future self. 

Big Future Self Favors

I realized, right now, I am not really doing a lot of big favors for my future self. I do my normal, routine favors that are just part of my lifestyle now. I don’t think I’ve really taken a whole lot of action – a lot of future action. I haven’t created a lot of intentional action for my future self. 

I haven’t checked in on her. 

There are quite a few things I haven’t set up for her yet. There’s a lot of effort that I haven’t expended for her lately. 

In the workbook, there were some exercises or some questions called Living from the Future. Those really got some good responses out of me. 

I want to incorporate those somehow into a Future Me Workbook I might create for myself (and for you, if you want it too). Maybe I’ll create a workshop. I don’t know. Let me know if you have questions or suggestions or want to know more about this. Maybe we can work on it together. 

And in the meantime, what favors (big or small) are you doing for your future self?

My Own Judginess

Because I was in the space with all these people and I got to hear all these different examples of other people’s thoughts, I got to notice my own judginess about what people were sharing and getting coached on.

I am a human so I do have judginess. 

I got the reminder that what bugs me about other people is probably what bugs me about myself. Right!? What? 

I just blew my mind. 

Projection

I believe so much in the idea of projection. 

It’s the concept that “what I see that bothers me in other people is what I don’t like about myself.”

If it didn’t bug me, I wouldn’t notice it. 

There are so many things around me that I don’t even pick up on and I am completely oblivious to because it doesn’t trigger me in any way. There’s no charge when I see it or hear it because it’s just not even in my mind space. 

But when someone does bug me or trigger me or give me a little charge, I think “Oh, they shouldn’t do that. Oh, that bugs me. Oh, that’s not right.” 

I think that because there’s something about what they are doing that has something to do with me. it’s not right for them because I don’t think it’s right for me.

It’s in my shadow. Good to know! That’s something I want to explore.

I Love Noticing What Bugs Me

So, one of the decisions that I have now made as a result of attending this coach conference is I love noticing when I am bugged by their behavior, because that is my chance to look for my own projection and explore. Oh, I love having this thought. 

I wrote it down as an intentional thought that I will practice thinking.

Before having this thought, before this weekend, whenever I noticed myself feeling bugged, there were a couple different things I would do. 

I would stay in that bugged feeling and tell myself  “oh, they shouldn’t be doing that. I don’t like that they’re doing that. Why would someone do that?” 

I just stay there in that discomfort.

Or, another thing I would do is that I would notice the discomfort, notice that I was feeling bugged.

Then, I would do all this personal judgment on myself. Right? Because I was judging them and being intolerant and having an unnecessary negative experience when I wanted to feel good. So, I would berate myself for judging them and not being tolerant and accepting.

That’s not how I want to spend my time. I don’t want to stay in unhelpful discomfort and judgment. 

I don’t want to judge myself about my thoughts. But I do want to love noticing that opportunity so that I can work on myself and get to know myself better.

I can become more of the way I want to be.

It is so good to change something that I used to hate into something that I now love.

Can you think of a way to change something you don’t like into something that you now love?

Use This as a Time Marker

The next thing that I loved was said a few different times by a few different people. 

The offer was made that we could notice and use this weekend’s event as a marker in time. We could remind ourselves “That was the event that changed my life or changed my mind forever.” 

Just like I realized, “I don’t have to not like being bugged by other people. I can actually love being bugged by other people because it gives me this little reminder to work on myself and explore my own thoughts.” That’s a marker in time. 

Prior to this weekend, I never thought that way. From this weekend forward, I’m always going to think that way. I’m always going to be on the lookout for that opportunity or that experience. 

That was just my own personal example. Everyone has their own personal example. Prior to this weekend. I didn’t realize I could have this or do this or think this way. After this weekend, I know I can do this or have this or think this way. 

I love thinking the thought: “this was the event that changed my mind forever.”  

You never have to go back. That’s all in the past. Everything that happened before that event, you don’t have to go back to it and pick up those habits again, or think those thoughts again, or believe those beliefs again. 

You never have to. You can just say, “Oh, that was the weekend where everything changed.”

Or, you might say “Oh, that was the post, that after I read it, everything changed.”

Decide What to Keep Thinking

The next reminder to share with you is just a statement. It’s a good statement to repeat. 

I decide what I keep thinking. 

Say it. Repeat it. I decide what I keep thinking.

So even if I have thought something else in the past, I decide what I keep thinking.

Rush of Making a Decision

Something else I was reminded of as I watched all of the different things that happened during this coaching conference was the rush that comes with making a decision. 

Have you felt this rush that I’m talking about?

It feels so good! 

Sometimes it’s a rush and sometimes it is the relief of making the decision. 

One of the things that Brooke taught during the conference, one of the main lessons, was how to make decisions. 

She gave us a framework. Here’s what it is:

Ask yourself: Do I want it? That creates the desire.

Then you can ask yourself, Do I believe it? When you have the belief, that’s what moves you towards working on and overcoming the obstacles towards what you desire. 

Then you ask yourself, Am I yes or no about this? 

If you’re yes then you decide. The decision is made. 

If you’re no then you drop it. You say no, that’s not for me. No, I don’t want it. No, I won’t take it and you drop it. 

You don’t continue to think “well, maybe I do. But maybe I should.” 

If you decide yes or no, there’s so much clarity there. 

You either are yes. I’m gonna go for it. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna create it. I’m gonna have it and then you do all the things to get it 

It’s Fine to Be a No

Or, you’re a No, that’s not for me. I opted out. I’m a No thanks. I don’t want it. I don’t need it. It’s not part of my path. Good. 

Then stop looking in that direction and stop thinking about it. 

Then don’t entertain all the back and forth and the flip flopping about it. 

You’re a No. That’s fine. You want to do something else. Good! What is it?

Go do it.

Deciding to Do It

It reminded me of the rush that I have gotten when I have made a decision. For example, back in 2019, I decided I was going to start this podcast. 

I remember when I actually did decide and I got out of the miserable maybe and I got out of that flippy floppy:

 well, maybe I will but who would listen to what would I do but I don’t know how to do all of that stuff. 

When I just decided: I’m going to do it. I’m going to post an episode every Friday of 2020. No matter what. I just am. I’m just going to do it. What a rush!

I decided that in the summer of 2019. Then the entire rest of the summer and fall and winter, I worked towards it. I created my content. I learned the technology side of it. I found the music. I set up the microphone. I took all the steps towards it. 

As I was taking those steps, a lot of doubt came up for me, still, of course, and a lot of obstacles. For example, my brain told me:

I don’t even know how to edit audio. 

Then, once I have the audio edited, assuming I can figure that out. I don’t know what to do with it.

I don’t know how to get it on Apple podcasts or onto Audible, or Spotify. 

I don’t know how to do that. 

But I was going to do it anyhow.

I just decided. I’m going just do it. I’m just going figure it out and I’m just going have a podcast and it’s going just publish every Friday of 2020 no matter what. 

Luckily, and thankfully, and giving myself credit, I did figure out how to do it. I did take the online classes and I did the research and I did do the trial error and so I did figure out how to do it. 

Feeling Decisive

I remember in the summer of 2019 when I made that decision, it was such a rush. Oh, I loved it so much. 

I loved feeling that certainty and sureness and pride. So good, right? 

Do we remind ourselves of the rush that we get from making a decision that is completely aligned with what we really want? It feels really good. 

I want to have that feeling more often. I would rather have the rush of having made a decision, than the heaviness of being undecided. That feels gross. I don’t like feeling undecided. It feels very confining and unsure. I would rather just feel sure. 

Undecided is Not Great

When we are undecided, we don’t know. It feels like there are too many options and you’re not sure and one could be right and one could be wrong and it’s just very uncomfortable. 

So, as soon as you make the decision, there’s such a relief that you don’t have to think about it anymore. It’s really, really, good. 

Especially if the answer is no. 

If there’s something that you’ve been thinking about and you think you should and people say you should and it makes sense on paper and it’s a great idea, but you really don’t want to do it. 

So you finally just decide no, I’m not going to do that. What a great relief you get, right?

You don’t have to think about it anymore. You don’t have to wonder about it anymore. You don’t have to tell people about it anymore. You’re just not going to do it. And that’s great. 

I was reminded of the rush and the relief of making a decision and I wanted to remind you of that too in case you are currently feeling indecisive about something.

Really So Simple

There were so many more reminders and realizations over the weekend and I can not wait to journal on all the prompts I wrote out for myself over the coming weeks and months. 

I will just share one more thing that I noticed as I was watching all the speakers. 

All these successful people were giving presentations and walked us through their journey of how they were just like us. They used to be sitting in a seat, just like us, and now, here they are making millions of dollars, having these amazing businesses and experiences and lifestyles. It all sounded so lovely and informational and aspirational. 

One of the thoughts that I was noticing myself thinking as I was sitting and listening and watching, because it was pretty repetitive and it was pretty direct. 

I remember thinking maybe it really is so simple. 

They keep on telling us it’s so simple. It really is so simple. It’s so direct.

My mind let me consider that maybe it really is simple and we just keep on making it more complicated than it needs to be. 

Maybe we keep on asking what’s the secret? What’s the path? But what are the exact steps? 

And, maybe it really is just dropping the thoughts that don’t serve you and intentionally and purposely thinking thoughts that get you where you want to go. 

Maybe it is so simple and we just complicate it. Wow. blowing my mind! What if it is just so simple?

Resistance to Simplicity 

Any resistance coming up for you on that one? Can you drop the resistant thoughts and just keep going towards what you want? 

I hope so.

I also hope you enjoyed hearing my reminders and realizations from this amazing event. 

What Else?

My friend Zayne and I talked about what we took away from it. I attended in person. 

He attended virtually. He told me he’s also going to record an episode of his takeaways. So, please go check out his podcast Making Friends to hear another point of view and a different perspective. 

Thanks so much for reading today! I hope some of my reminders will become things YOU end up remembering getting from this post!

If you want to review or revisit anything I mentioned or get a link to Zayne’s podcast, here are some links.

Links

Lessons I Learned from Brooke – https://bexb.org/brooke/

How to Get Unstuck – https://bexb.org/unstuck/

Zayne’s podcast – https://open.spotify.com/show/19tP4pqsSLorMuopPMbyyB 

Notebook Shop – https://bexb.org/quickshop/

Blow your Own Mind Notebook – https://amzn.to/3Vp60Tg