I’m realizing that my fascination with resistance (my own and other people’s) has caused me to develop a crush on another word … I think it’s just a crush right now, but.. I’m so infatuated and excited and interested, I’m thinking and hoping it might blow up into a whole love affair!
What word has got me smiling and humming and daydreaming.. And sometimes even giggling out loud to myself?
What word has got me making new plans for the future.. And writing out my own name in my journal in the future tense..
And what word do I see pop up everywhere for me? You’ve probably even seen me sprinkle it to the last few posts and conversations.. And I probably didn’t even realize I was talking about it so much!
It’s Transformation! Transformation! Do you see that!? Do you see how good that looks? How much promise and excitement and possibility is all in that one sweet word?
There are other words that have similar meanings.. Change, transition, metamorphosis.. But they don’t have the strength and power that Transformation has.
I want to tell you why I am falling for transformation.. And how this new excitement is actually causing me to transform – right before my very own eyes. And, as usual.. I of course want to convert you too. I want to make you get interested in and curious about transformation, and who knows.. Maybe fall in love too – because there’s plenty for all of us!
As I was realizing that I’ve been noticing transformation popping up for me everywhere.. As I’ve been flirtatiously and jokingly asking it .. hey, are you stalking me? I also got a little serious too.. And I’ve asked myself why am I so attracted to transformation right now?
Maybe it’s because the world is literally going through major transformations in front of our eyes and we’re all seeing evidence of changes and feeling the effects of transformation all around us in so many ways.
And it’s so new and unknown and unsure and sometimes scary – so maybe I’m “spinning” the concept of transformation for myself? Like maybe I’m taking something that’s unsure and scary and convincing myself and finding evidence of how great it is for me. Or, maybe I’m deciding, I can control and direct my own transformation, even though I can’t control the world’s transformations.
Transformation is Magnetic
Maybe I’ve been tuned in to it because I’ve been hearing and believing that transformation is magnetic, so I’m naturally attracted to it and I want it for myself. I want to be magnetic. I want to attract listeners, and fans, and clients, and friends and followers – for one reason, because I’m human and I have an ego and connection is a basic instinct that feels good.
And for another reason because I REALLY TRULY believe what I’m experiencing and learning and realizing is just TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE!
All this life changing stuff I’ve gone through and am going through is SO GOOD – I want it for you! I want it for everyone! I really think if people get a hold of their resistance .. and see it for what it is.. And release it- about the areas of themselves and their lives that they don’t like.. They’ll be better people in this world, and this world will be a better place.
I’m all about making the world a better place for all of us!
Transformation and Resistance
Maybe I’ve been noticing transformation showing up because in recognizing and releasing my resistance, I’m allowing and inviting so much transformation into my life.. And it’s intoxicating and addictive! And exciting.. And suspenseful!
So just like how I described how I’ve been researching and observing resistance, now I’ve also started noticing so much transformation in myself, and in my clients and in people all around me.
And.. the most exciting part is that I see so much potential for transformation – in myself.. In my clients and the people all around me and it gives me SUCH A BUZZ! It puts me in this high vibe that feels so so magnetic! I bet you can even hear it in my voice (notice it in my tone).
Examples and Types of Transformations
I want to give you some examples of transformations I believe are possible and available right now and then share a few of my own recent and current transformations too. My hope is this post will give you a transformation from unconsidered to considered or maybe from disbelief to belief and also, maybe from thinking your own transformation was unavailable and impossible to knowing that it is available and not only possible but imminent!
This list is not exhaustive.. Remember, I’m in the early stages of my relationship and understanding of Transformations.. So I’m sure there are so many types..
These are a few of the types of transformations I’ve noticed so far.
External and internal
External transformations might be something that you’re going through outside of your self, that other people can see and recognize, so for example, graduating, starting a new job, setting a goal and achieving it (or making progress towards it).
Internal transformations would be like realizing something about yourself, dropping resistance around a belief, maturing, making a decision to change.
You may share some parts or all of the internal transformations with friends and family, or you may decide to keep it all to yourself. And, even if you do decide to keep your internal transformation private, other people may pick up on it, they may notice something different about you without knowing exactly what it is.
And of course, your transformation could be both internal and external. As an example, if you drop the resistance about starting a new career, you would feel that transformation inside of yourself, then you also would go out and interview for and get hired for a new job- so then the transformation would be visible externally too.
Measurable and Immeasurable
If I’ve decided to transform my business, I might be able to measure, or count the number of clients I serve. Or the amount of money I earn. If you’ve decided to transform your health, you may measure the number of pounds or inches lost or the number days you exercise.
If you’re transforming yourself from someone who doesn’t have a specific skill to someone who does, you might measure steps learned, or processes mastered, or how many times you’ve performed this new skill.
Some immeasurable examples of transformation would be recognizing the different level of motivation and excitement I feel about my business, or you feel about your physical health. You may recognize a change in your own commitment to weight loss- so that’s definitely a transformation, but we probably wouldn’t try to specifically put a number on the change in your commitment.
Physical and Emotional
And just to keep the examples flowing, 2 more types of transformation could be physical and emotional. (and you’re probably already seeing how so many of these types of transformation can blend and overlap) so physical transformations could center around your personal appearance – like maybe deciding to wear make up and accessorize more (or deciding to tone it all down and be a little more natural and relaxed).
You might have a transformation in your physical space- like a decluttered home, or even a change in your home completely- by moving.
Emotional transformations would include your confidence, your attitude about events, other people, the world and your self-awareness.
Possible Transformations You Might Consider
All of these fit into the emotional and internal (and maybe immeasurable) types, so while you may not set specific numerical goals around them and while other people may not be able to readily identify evidence of them, YOU will know these transformations are happening.. And I truly believe, after going through these types of transformations, you can look back from your future self to your past self and see the complete transformation, and see how much you’ve changed.
Self-Loathing to Self Loving
The first transformation I want to offer you is going from Self-Loathing to Self Loving. This can be general, as in someone who just totally loathes themselves and everything about themselves. But I suspect most people will more likely relate to an area-specific self-loathing. You may generally like and accept yourself, but there may be a specific area of your life that you really do not like about yourself. That you Loathe! And you may have been hating this about yourself for a long time.
This self-loathing doesn’t have to be as dramatic and extreme as it may sound when you first hear it.. But you may be loathing yourself in some specific areas without even realizing it.. And what if, instead of loathing your behavior.. Or your habits.. Or your past.. You just loved yourself?
If I asked you, what do you hate about yourself – does anything automatically pop into your mind? I hate that I ____, or I hate how I always______. You probably usually do a good job of distracting yourself from the hate, or ignoring it, and what I’m suggesting when I talk about transformation is to actually face the self-loathing, and work on those thoughts that create it, and turn it into self loving instead.
Maybe the thoughts you’re thinking are completely subliminal – but when you recognize it, the awareness of it can cause alarm or despair. When you do recognize those thoughts and beliefs about yourself, you may try to soothe yourself or argue with yourself. This self-loathing may be programmed without question – so the transformation I’m suggesting is that you do question those programmed thoughts and beliefs about yourself.
The transformation from Self-Loathing to Self-Loving is possible and achievable and makes life SO MUCH BETTER!
Unsure to Sure
The next transformation I’ll suggest is moving from feeling Unsure to Sure. Another way to think about this might be from feeling unsure to feeling 100% confident or decided. Maybe there’s a specific area of your life right now where you’re unsure of yourself or feeling undecided.. Maybe you keep going back and forth, or you’re not making a committed decision.. I’m suggesting you transform yourself from unsure to sure in this area!
And once you’ve decided, once you’re sure, stick with that decision, honor it and no more re-negotiating, no more back and forth! No more uncertainty. Ahh! Relief! This transformation ends up saving you so much time and energy that you’re currently using negotiating and thinking and deciding and wallowing in feeling unsure.
And the great news about this transformation is that when you transform from unsure to sure, so many other things can click into place for you. For example, if other things are hinging on this first decision, once you’ve decided, and you’re all in, all the decisions after that can be more clear. Things you couldn’t possibly decide until the first thing was decided can now also be decided.
Do you see how one solid decision can have a domino effect for so many other decisions?
An example of transforming from unsure to sure could be around a decision to move. If you’ve been thinking its a good idea to move, but there are some drawbacks to it, and you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, and you’re not sure if you’ll like the new place, and what if this turns out to be a poor decision in the long run, etc, etc you’re weighing yourself down with the constant argument of if you should or shouldn’t move.
But if you just decide – I’m moving. I’m all in on moving. I’ll make it work. I’ll never regret my decision. I’ll figure out how to like the new place no matter what.
Now that you’ve transformed from unsure to sure, so many other decisions can be decided – like getting rid of things in your home, making decisions about your lifestyle based on the new location, financial decisions, social decisions.. So many things that may be hanging until you actually, confidently make that first decision and you really feel Sure! (Because here’s a hint.. Your feelings are all caused by your thoughts and you get to choose your thoughts, so if you don’t like how you’re feeling.. You can examine what thoughts are making you feel that way and decide if you want to continue or change).
Purposeless to Purposeful
A third transformation I want to suggest for you is moving from feeling Purposeless to Purposeful. I have personal experience with this transformation and can highly recommend it! It’s so much BETTER!I mentioned this transformation in myself when I described how Life is the Story you Tell Yourself and the transformation became even more real for me when I wrote my Manifesto.
This is a transformation from lost to found. What are you finding in this transformation? Your purpose, your direction, your identity.. your self!
This transformation improves your mood daily! Imagine being in a better mood than you are right now – every. Single. Day! And much like the other transformations I mentioned, this transformation makes so many other things so much easier! (the good kind of easy!)
Transformations I’ve Recently Gone Through
I’ll start with one from the external, measurable and physical categories. Earlier this year, through working with a coach and through doing so much research, I went off flour and sugar and started Intermittent Fasting.
I have been trying to go off flour and sugar for years- and really did not think it was possible for me. It’s something I thought about- and talked about alot, but really didn’t see how I would be able to do it. And then I did. And I was so excited and proud and grateful and amazed.
I love knowing that I’m not voluntarily introducing an addictive poison (that’s my pet name for sugar) into my body and organs on a regular basis like I used to. I love knowing that I’m not at the mercy of these concentrated substances like I used to be.
And I love being so much more in tune with my own body and hunger and health and recognizing that I intentionally choose what and when I eat, instead of eating out of habit, or suggestion, or to mask an emotion I’d rather not feel. This transformation off of flour and sugar and on to only eating between 1 pm and 8 pm has also helped me with my transformation of becoming invested in being willing to feel negative emotions..
Becoming Invested in Feeling
What do I mean by this? What kind of transformation is this? Before being introduced to this work and really sinking into it to fully understand it, I didn’t think about my emotions at all.
And when I did think about them, I thought I wanted to be happy all the time, so if and when I was unhappy or not happy, that meant something was off, something was wrong.
And, I was not interested or willing to purposefully feel any negative emotion. If I felt guilt or shame- I tried to actively escape those feelings (probably with food, or maybe alcohol, or maybe some other zoning out distraction like losing myself in a novel or a tv show.. Or just going to bed).
If I felt disappointment or sadness or loneliness, I might try to “PollyAnna” my way out of those feelings rather than be willing to sit with them and explore them and understand them (and even value them). Now – this transformation I’m telling you about- I know that I am working on being willing to experience any emotion.
If I make a mistake, I’m willing to feel shame about it (and compassion for myself too by the way). If something happens in the world that I think shouldn’t have happened, I’m willing to feel sad.. And explore my sadness, rather than try to escape from it.
This investment in feeling negative emotions is on purpose.. For as long as I need to. Sounds kinda crazy right?! But if I know that the worst thing that can happen to me is to feel an emotion.. And if I know I’m willing to feel any emotion – even shame, humiliation, rejection, fear.. All those gross ones, then I know I really am in control of my life.
Transformation I’m Currently In
And finally, I want to let you know about the transformation I’m currently in and working towards. I’m practicing and learning to notice my own judginess. I actively want to drop it and replace it with unconditional love.
Talk about programmed beliefs! I’ve been judging myself and other people my entire life! I’ve gotten very skilled and efficient at being judgy- so efficient that I frequently don’t even notice I’m doing it – it’s so programmed and habitual.
So, the transformation that I’m focusing on is to notice it, slow down, and re-direct myself. I’d rather feel unconditional love than judgement. I would prefer to love someone than judge them. I’m a much better person when I love myself than when I judge myself. What do you think? Do you want to join me in this transformation?
Consider for Yourself
I invite you to consider it for yourself as well. It includes some of the other transformations I mentioned, like moving from self-loathing to self loving, and being sure and confident about myself rather than telling myself I don’t know.
And when I love myself, and am confident and love my purpose.. I feel so purposeful, I don’t feel lost or confused. And life is so much better!
Your Own Transformation
If you’re curious about what kind of transformation you might consider for yourself, I have a suggestion, book a free call with me where I’ll walk you through an exercise to figure it out.
It will give you awareness about some of your habitual thinking and programmed beliefs. Then I can let you know how you could create that transformation with me as your coach.
I want to hear your thoughts and your reactions. What transformations have you been through in your life? What transformations are you actively working on right now?